I'm good

I met someone in the grocery store yesterday that was my neighbor for many years until I moved away almost a year ago. She asked me how I was and I said, "I'm good". I almost always answer that way, but I realized for the first time in almost four years I was telling the truth...that's hard for me to admit. It's not that I have not felt good in that period of time, however, it was like saying "I'm good" and feeling like I was choking on the silent "but" that would follow...If I was honest I would have said "I'm good, but my heart still aches" or "I'm good, but I still can't believe this has happened to me" or....you get the idea. It felt good to be telling the truth and not have a silent "but" on the tip of my tongue.

The 'buts' in my life are the shadows that give the color more contrast and make them seem brighter somehow...the 'buts' are not bad (although they have felt hard), they're part of my story, part of the depth of my experience in this life...I am grateful that they have faded a bit and let the good clear, easy color shine through in a life I am creating...no "buts" about it :)